Lessons in the Art of Disappearance
Nothing
is about you except
washing the dishes well with nothing
but a bucket water soap and rag no Cosmic Influence
no out of mind out of body exemption
just you and the dishes
just you and the bubbles
no glandular bliss
no oracular sounding
no jettisoning fluid
and no one applauding or even giving a care
it's just you standing there loose in silent motion
no meditative trance especially when the crud is deep
like your silent grief and all the ways
that you have died everyday
and no one noticed and without thinking
assumed that you had never left
that you've always been standing there at the sink
that you haven't already been cremated
so many times that there is not even the hope
of not another burning but none of this matters
not when there is another dish to wash When
you finally lift a cup from the counter
as if it might be the left foot of G-d
when you dip it into the bubbly warm water
when you lift it out and rub the rag over its skin
when you dip it again into the rinse water
when you turn it over and around to see it well done
and when you can't help yourself any longer
and you know with a certain unknowing that
you have just kissed the left foot of G-d there you go
you are done gone
is about you except
washing the dishes well with nothing
but a bucket water soap and rag no Cosmic Influence
no out of mind out of body exemption
just you and the dishes
just you and the bubbles
no glandular bliss
no oracular sounding
no jettisoning fluid
and no one applauding or even giving a care
it's just you standing there loose in silent motion
no meditative trance especially when the crud is deep
like your silent grief and all the ways
that you have died everyday
and no one noticed and without thinking
assumed that you had never left
that you've always been standing there at the sink
that you haven't already been cremated
so many times that there is not even the hope
of not another burning but none of this matters
not when there is another dish to wash When
you finally lift a cup from the counter
as if it might be the left foot of G-d
when you dip it into the bubbly warm water
when you lift it out and rub the rag over its skin
when you dip it again into the rinse water
when you turn it over and around to see it well done
and when you can't help yourself any longer
and you know with a certain unknowing that
you have just kissed the left foot of G-d there you go
you are done gone
The reason for loving God is God;
the measure of this love is to love without measure. -- St. Bernard
The world is pregnant with God. -- Angela of Foligno
If the Celtic spiritual imagination is true, then that which is deepest and most profound within us, is the image of the Holy One. The illusion (delusion) of separation has distorted the workings of mind, heart, and society. As we think, so we are: so we define ourselves by our failings, by our changing appearances, by our lack of "progress", and by our lack of sufficient resources to live freely, with modest comfort, and with an ability to anticipate the coming day as an opportunity for bliss. We step over, or walk around, the homeless as if secretly knowing that they are all signs and symbols of our interior condition... But on the other hand, Celtic wisdom is the experiential proposition that we can intentionally cultivate our essential goodness and oneness with creation and with the Divine Beloved...
Not only is creation good and a blessing, but it is an amazing miracle that we are alive! We can surrender our apparent "degrees of separation" with a deepening and gradual opening into the cultivated condition of wonder: breath, or rather, our conscious breathing is key. Approaching our day with gratitude ("any day above ground is a good day" is the base line for gratitude), can be actualized in moments, or offerings: we can choose in this moment, with this breath, to say "I thank you!" If we only say this prayer it is enough... but who among us wants "enough"? Don't we all want more? So we take the next step: we can choose in this moment, with this breath, to say "I love you!" These two simple breath-prayers are essential lessons in the art of disappearance...
But... disappearance into what? If Bl. Angela is right and the world is pregnant with God, then our "disappearance" is into the theophanies (or showings) of the Holy... Celtic spirituality, like that of the World Mystics in general, is deeply rooted in experiences of "thin places": where the "distance" between us and the Holy is minimized to little more than a "thin veil". Thin places are not just aspects of "place", but also of "moments": every moment brings with it, as a gift freely given, an opportunity to breathe ourselves into awareness and adoration... This is the heart of the Celtic Way. And, of course, it is precisely that, a way, a daily practice... But what a way to live! We have within the "grasp" of our heart the natural, graceful, capacity for awakening into the theophanies of G-d: moment-by moment: for choosing to encounter the Divine Beloved, just "behind" the thin veils of our daily lives, by simply loving...
Not only is creation good and a blessing, but it is an amazing miracle that we are alive! We can surrender our apparent "degrees of separation" with a deepening and gradual opening into the cultivated condition of wonder: breath, or rather, our conscious breathing is key. Approaching our day with gratitude ("any day above ground is a good day" is the base line for gratitude), can be actualized in moments, or offerings: we can choose in this moment, with this breath, to say "I thank you!" If we only say this prayer it is enough... but who among us wants "enough"? Don't we all want more? So we take the next step: we can choose in this moment, with this breath, to say "I love you!" These two simple breath-prayers are essential lessons in the art of disappearance...
But... disappearance into what? If Bl. Angela is right and the world is pregnant with God, then our "disappearance" is into the theophanies (or showings) of the Holy... Celtic spirituality, like that of the World Mystics in general, is deeply rooted in experiences of "thin places": where the "distance" between us and the Holy is minimized to little more than a "thin veil". Thin places are not just aspects of "place", but also of "moments": every moment brings with it, as a gift freely given, an opportunity to breathe ourselves into awareness and adoration... This is the heart of the Celtic Way. And, of course, it is precisely that, a way, a daily practice... But what a way to live! We have within the "grasp" of our heart the natural, graceful, capacity for awakening into the theophanies of G-d: moment-by moment: for choosing to encounter the Divine Beloved, just "behind" the thin veils of our daily lives, by simply loving...
The One is awareness and love, but together they add up to more than the sum of their parts: home. -- Ram Dass (author Be Here Now and Be Love Now)