From The Ragged-Man's Gospel...
Frying Pan Theology
Yes, I remember...
I'd been thinking about it all week. Mom and Dad were going to a communication workshop. I couldn't wait! They left early, right after a cold cereal breakfast. I ran from the kitchen to the living room window when I heard the garage door open. I pulled the curtain aside just an inch to watch them drive away... it was four hours to Milwaukee. I figured if they were gone at least a half hour they wouldn't return for something they forgot...
I sat staring at the clock... I don't remember breathing but once or twice, I was so still and frozen to my spot... Finally!
I solemnly walked to my parent's room. I went into Mom's stuff: panties, bra, stockings, skirt, and blouse. I took them into the bathroom with me. I filled the tub. I shaved and shaved. Got rid of all my goddamn hair. Summer vacation. It would grow back by the start of my freshman year. God, how I hated the thought of high school. I stood and dried off, looking at myself in the mirror all the time. I didn't want to wear my Mom's clothes -- I hated her just as much as him. God, if only I never had to see them again!
I dressed slowly. I put make-up on. I went to my closet and pulled a wig from a box. When I bought it I said it was a gift for my mother. I said she had cancer. The checker called me a very sweet boy. Platinum blonde. I stared at my reflection. I laughed so hard and loud! Over and over I kept saying, "I love you! I love you!"
I didn't hear the door open behind me. He screamed and pushed me face down on the bed. He kept yelling, "What are you, a fucking faggot?"
He pulled off my wig. He tore off my skirt and blouse. When he pulled off my bra, he yelled, "You ain't got no fucking tits. What kind of girl are you?" I was crying and pleading, "Daddy I'm sorry. I won't do it again! I was just messing around!"
He lifted me by my feet and screamed, "You shaved your goddamn legs! Like hell you were messing around! You're a goddamn faggot!" He threw me on my stomach and pulled off my panties. He spread my legs. "So you want it up the ass do you? I'll give it to you up the ass!" I screamed.
He collapsed to the side of me. I heard the crunch. Mom had knocked his fucking head off with a frying pan.
I didn't stop running for maybe twenty years. Then I met a preacher in the City. He said something different. He said there'd been a revolution in Paradise. Only lovers were let in now. He taught me how to love myself by first loving and serving others. I volunteer in the Soup Kitchen he runs. I can be myself all the time. I practice very safe sex, and I'm very good in bed, either way...
I never saw my father again. Oh, and I teach a communication workshop at St. Francis Parish Church. My mother attended the first one I gave. Instead of a donation, she left me a frying pan...
+
Is this story fiction or is it fact? Tell me, are you beautiful or not? And what is the difference?
If you only knew how incredibly beautiful you are! If you only knew how precious you are and what an utter delight to the Universe! If only you could believe the prophet, Yeshua the Poet, when he suggested "Oh my beloveds! This is what I ask of you: please just love one another! That will always be enough!" If only you could believe the words of Rumi the Ecstatic, "Oh my beloveds! Love is the way in which you kiss the ground!" You see, we are each and all holy beyond the ability of language to convey...
We are each and all sacred beings: imagined nearly fourteen billion years ago in the Original What If? We have been created by Love, for Love, to become Love (Simone Weil). We co-exist with the stars, with planets, with our Sun and Earth, with oceans and mountains, with forests and rivers, with artists and poets, with farmers and builders, with teachers and doctors, with care-givers and athletes... with every creature and breathing being, with molecules and atoms, and with Pure Energy and the Emptiness of Nothing: all whirling in a Cosmic Dance of Rising and Expansion: a Cosmic Mass of Surrender and Adoration: a Cosmic Evolution of Justice and Compassion... THIS is who we are!
Oh, I know that it is very hard to believe! I've heard the seductive blatherings of the powerful and greedy, of the exclusive religionists, and of all their successful advocates! But there is a New Spirit that is loose upon this precious blue Planet... we don't have to endlessly repeat all the many possible versions of the "Frying Pan Theology": we can stop hurting one another! We can embrace and include instead of separate and harm. We can rejoice in our ability to accept differences and to give the very best of ourselves to everyone struggling to discover their way of remembering: we were created by Love, for Love, to become Love. We can learn how to honor and forgive, to extend mercy and kindness, and to nurture the seeds of soul and the sacred that lie dormant in the vast interior fields of our hearts... these things we can do!
And if we do, what then?
One moment -- just one moment -- of true remembrance -- from any one of us -- just might be enough to turn the tide of history! Perhaps the Universe has been waiting for the added spark of your love unleashed to transform this Planet! Think about it! It just might be you! Perhaps you know "the person" in the story of "Frying Pan Theology" who is struggling with his / her sexual and total self-identity: perhaps you can be creative with your theology to heal the divisions that you see? Perhaps you have been itching to join or begin an intentional community and so live rejoicing in the rEvolution that is possible: and so you are now ready to begin? Perhaps you are a musician, an artist, a poet and you know your task is to create beauty that is both wild and free? There are so many possibilities! You know what yours are!
And so, why not? Why not you and why not now?
Oh and perhaps you have either some land or some money that you would like to dedicate to the proposition that it really is true: "We were created by Love, for Love, to become Love": and you know that you could facilitate something beautiful for Love... Everyone is called (it was the special interests who added that part about few are chosen -- they wanted exclusive privileges): everyone has meaning and purpose! Ask someone, "How can I help?" Then watch in wonder as everything will begin to change!
It really is all about you!
Yes, I remember...
I'd been thinking about it all week. Mom and Dad were going to a communication workshop. I couldn't wait! They left early, right after a cold cereal breakfast. I ran from the kitchen to the living room window when I heard the garage door open. I pulled the curtain aside just an inch to watch them drive away... it was four hours to Milwaukee. I figured if they were gone at least a half hour they wouldn't return for something they forgot...
I sat staring at the clock... I don't remember breathing but once or twice, I was so still and frozen to my spot... Finally!
I solemnly walked to my parent's room. I went into Mom's stuff: panties, bra, stockings, skirt, and blouse. I took them into the bathroom with me. I filled the tub. I shaved and shaved. Got rid of all my goddamn hair. Summer vacation. It would grow back by the start of my freshman year. God, how I hated the thought of high school. I stood and dried off, looking at myself in the mirror all the time. I didn't want to wear my Mom's clothes -- I hated her just as much as him. God, if only I never had to see them again!
I dressed slowly. I put make-up on. I went to my closet and pulled a wig from a box. When I bought it I said it was a gift for my mother. I said she had cancer. The checker called me a very sweet boy. Platinum blonde. I stared at my reflection. I laughed so hard and loud! Over and over I kept saying, "I love you! I love you!"
I didn't hear the door open behind me. He screamed and pushed me face down on the bed. He kept yelling, "What are you, a fucking faggot?"
He pulled off my wig. He tore off my skirt and blouse. When he pulled off my bra, he yelled, "You ain't got no fucking tits. What kind of girl are you?" I was crying and pleading, "Daddy I'm sorry. I won't do it again! I was just messing around!"
He lifted me by my feet and screamed, "You shaved your goddamn legs! Like hell you were messing around! You're a goddamn faggot!" He threw me on my stomach and pulled off my panties. He spread my legs. "So you want it up the ass do you? I'll give it to you up the ass!" I screamed.
He collapsed to the side of me. I heard the crunch. Mom had knocked his fucking head off with a frying pan.
I didn't stop running for maybe twenty years. Then I met a preacher in the City. He said something different. He said there'd been a revolution in Paradise. Only lovers were let in now. He taught me how to love myself by first loving and serving others. I volunteer in the Soup Kitchen he runs. I can be myself all the time. I practice very safe sex, and I'm very good in bed, either way...
I never saw my father again. Oh, and I teach a communication workshop at St. Francis Parish Church. My mother attended the first one I gave. Instead of a donation, she left me a frying pan...
+
Is this story fiction or is it fact? Tell me, are you beautiful or not? And what is the difference?
If you only knew how incredibly beautiful you are! If you only knew how precious you are and what an utter delight to the Universe! If only you could believe the prophet, Yeshua the Poet, when he suggested "Oh my beloveds! This is what I ask of you: please just love one another! That will always be enough!" If only you could believe the words of Rumi the Ecstatic, "Oh my beloveds! Love is the way in which you kiss the ground!" You see, we are each and all holy beyond the ability of language to convey...
We are each and all sacred beings: imagined nearly fourteen billion years ago in the Original What If? We have been created by Love, for Love, to become Love (Simone Weil). We co-exist with the stars, with planets, with our Sun and Earth, with oceans and mountains, with forests and rivers, with artists and poets, with farmers and builders, with teachers and doctors, with care-givers and athletes... with every creature and breathing being, with molecules and atoms, and with Pure Energy and the Emptiness of Nothing: all whirling in a Cosmic Dance of Rising and Expansion: a Cosmic Mass of Surrender and Adoration: a Cosmic Evolution of Justice and Compassion... THIS is who we are!
Oh, I know that it is very hard to believe! I've heard the seductive blatherings of the powerful and greedy, of the exclusive religionists, and of all their successful advocates! But there is a New Spirit that is loose upon this precious blue Planet... we don't have to endlessly repeat all the many possible versions of the "Frying Pan Theology": we can stop hurting one another! We can embrace and include instead of separate and harm. We can rejoice in our ability to accept differences and to give the very best of ourselves to everyone struggling to discover their way of remembering: we were created by Love, for Love, to become Love. We can learn how to honor and forgive, to extend mercy and kindness, and to nurture the seeds of soul and the sacred that lie dormant in the vast interior fields of our hearts... these things we can do!
And if we do, what then?
One moment -- just one moment -- of true remembrance -- from any one of us -- just might be enough to turn the tide of history! Perhaps the Universe has been waiting for the added spark of your love unleashed to transform this Planet! Think about it! It just might be you! Perhaps you know "the person" in the story of "Frying Pan Theology" who is struggling with his / her sexual and total self-identity: perhaps you can be creative with your theology to heal the divisions that you see? Perhaps you have been itching to join or begin an intentional community and so live rejoicing in the rEvolution that is possible: and so you are now ready to begin? Perhaps you are a musician, an artist, a poet and you know your task is to create beauty that is both wild and free? There are so many possibilities! You know what yours are!
And so, why not? Why not you and why not now?
Oh and perhaps you have either some land or some money that you would like to dedicate to the proposition that it really is true: "We were created by Love, for Love, to become Love": and you know that you could facilitate something beautiful for Love... Everyone is called (it was the special interests who added that part about few are chosen -- they wanted exclusive privileges): everyone has meaning and purpose! Ask someone, "How can I help?" Then watch in wonder as everything will begin to change!
It really is all about you!