Angel Dust?

                                                                        A Theology of "BOO!"

Let's start with this: "Angel Dust" is slang for phencyclidine, or PCP. It is an illegal psychedelic drug that induces hallucinations and produces a feeling of detachment from oneself and one's surroundings. It is also addictive and oftentimes a source of very significant harmful side effects... But, did you know that there is another kind of angel dust?

​Having had worked on the streets for thirty years, I am well aware (sadly so, though) of drugs and the harm that they cause (although, to be completely honest, drugs are not the real problem: rather, it is the harm that we inflict upon our children... broken hearts oftentimes lead to broken lives...). But here's the thing, and you can take it to the bank as absolute truth: when Jesus said whatsoever that you do to the least among you, you do to me: he was telling us -- each one of us -- the most unimaginable truth possible: we can't go to church, temple, or mosque on one particular day, and then cause harm the next day. Period. You can't worship on Sunday and vote to reduce food stamps on Tuesday. You can't claim the Holy at any one moment, and then screw over every person who has less privilege or power than you in another...

​Now, the real angel dust is the miracle of "BOO!" ... This is the Way of the Divine Beloved. And why shouldn't it be? Here are a few examples from my life... oh, wait, there are a few things that do come first... Like, if you want to kiss a girl, there has to be a girl wanting your kiss. It's the same way with the Divine Beloved: lips are ready and waiting, but you've got to be hungry for those lips! Hunger shows itself by action: you've got to make an effort to genuinely want those lips: effort shows itself by daily practice: increasing your availability through an activated compassion, through contemplation and prayer, through works of mercy, through sacred conversation and reading, through lifestyle changes: living simply, cultivating soil, keeping a journal, writing poetry, sending letters to friends and roses to lovers, and perhaps most importantly, longing for the Beloved in your own heart... Making your day sacred is like sending an invitation to the Divine to touch you and to radicalize your life... Okay. So now some "BOO!" examples from my own story...

I suppose I should start with my first reception of "BOO!" For a few years I had been reading The Catholic Worker and I desperately wanted to join a CW Community, but I couldn't because of my very painful shyness... My mother was dying of cancer. She was home, in her bed, and in a coma. My father and sisters would come and go out of her room. I just sat. Really, just stunned to be with someone in the near-process of dying. Then, a tear escaped one of her eyes. I touched it. I scooped it up and blessed myself with her loving holy water. A few minutes later, she died. And there was that "BOO!" 

​My shyness didn't just evaporate (I still lug it around), but suddenly courage showed up: I didn't join a Catholic Worker, I started one! right there in the Chinatown of my home town. But here's the thing about BOO! Theology, you can only want it by not wanting it. In other words, every BOO! is a radical gift: our job is simply to ready ourselves by becoming available... Here's another one: by the time of this BOO!, I had become "we": we had run out of money. We had no food in our refrigerator. I was sorely depressed. I was no one who expected anything, but I was available: the first volunteer of the day showed up. Someone asked if we could say a prayer. We gathered in a small circle. Five of us. Kevin read that crazy story of Jesus taking five loaves of bread and two fish. You know, the one in which that Magic Man supposedly fed thousands of people, right?

Loaves and Fishes, what a load of hoo-ey... After the reading, we simply held hands and together said the prayer that Jesus taught his friends. That was it and that was all. About ten minutes after concluding our availability prayer, there was a knock at our door. We answered, a guy pointed to the semi-truck now parked in front of our house: would we like some bread?  Holy shit! We were told that we would have to unload it ourselves, but we could take however much that we wanted... so we did. Bread was stuffed everywhere in our house! As we finished with unloading the truck, I walked from the front door into our kitchen. As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, the phone rang...

I turned to Bob, the volunteer who was seated next to our stove, and said, God I hope that isn't a donation of more bread! It wasn't. It was a call from a fisherman in Moss Landing wanting to know if we would like four hundred pounds of fish on ice? BOO! How was that possible? I say it was angel dust at work, creating the space for BOO! So, here's the thing. There is oh so much more to life, the universe, and everything than what our "logical" or "conditioned" brains and hearts have the courage to imagine! 

​Here's another thing: I've got more! If you think that story was bizarre and most likely a complete fabrication you would be wrong! The real radical truth is this: there is a Divine Reality that is, as it were, pregnant within the very fabric of the Universe. How is this possible? Does it matter as to how? It is. We are. We forget. We remember. (the core Kriya teaching of Rev. Ellen Grace O'Brian)... It seems to me that our one task in life is to live in such a way that we increasingly become available... availability leads to longing... and longing leads to the proximity of BOO!